I was nervous. Scared. We were in our distinctly non-four wheel drive Toyota Corolla (though I scarcely think I would have felt comfortable in any vehicle). We were on a narrow, gravel, one-lane road heading up a mountainside to God know’s where. And we were in completely over our heads.
The young man on the four-wheeler had passed us and we asked him if there was a turnaround point. He said something along the lines of not really. I said something along the lines of shit.
Tag Archives: humor
2017/10/14 – High Falls State Park
I felt a pop in my hip as my right leg hit the ground with a lot of force. Clumsy me, I had tried to get out of my chair quickly and tripped over the mobile home sized box of Gold Fish I had left sitting on the floor. With my cat-like reflexes, I kept my balance and managed to avoid tripping. Unfortunately, I didn’t have cat-like joints, and I placed far more force on my hip joint than it was designed for according to the owner’s manual. I didn’t feel any pain, but I knew from the pop and knowing how hard I had landed that I might have an issue on my hands…er well..hip. But as I stated before, I’m clumsy, and I combine that superpower with what doctors have told me is a high pain tolerance. At any given time I generally have between 2-5 potential injuries, none of which ever really hurt that acutely, and I can usually only tell the bumps and bruises from the tears and fractures after 4-6 weeks of things kind of hurting for a bit. I logged that pop and new weakness in my hip in my mental inventory of potential injuries and moved on with my life, knowing that a genuine injury was bound to find a way to distinguish itself and make its mother proud.
2019/11/03 – Afternoon Explorations at Benton Falls and Goforth Creek
“No longer Bono”. That’s what the text said which I sent to my wife as a frantically setup my tripod on a rock. Thankfully it did not send as I attached a picture to it in an area where I had limited reception, for I certainly would have simply gotten back a quizzical response which, while chasing pictures in the last few fleeting glimpses of light before dark, I would not have had time to answer. What
2019/11/03 – Panther Top Tower
My ascent up the trail was greeted by the pleasant sounds of nature. My feet on the dirt. Gun shots. Wind rustling through the trees. Gun shots. Small animals rustling in the brush. And gun shots. So many gun shots. Nothing but gunshots. Drowning out all other sounds. Gun shots. There’s a shooting range just downhill of this place. It gets LOUD. Though the sounds of bullets piercing the air interrupted what would have been a peaceful walk in the woods, I felt comforted to know that I would be so protected should any dangerous situations arise.
2019/11/02 – Ascending Brasstown Bald
I eased off my break and attempted to get to my gas pedal as quick as possible. I was on an incline and had to be sure I didn’t roll back too far, lest I roll into the vehicle behind me. I hoped that they noted the Florida license plate on my vehicle and allocated me a little extra space than they would usually provide. I needed it. I wasn’t sure how people managed this in the mountains. Do they keep one foot on the break and hit the gas with the other foot? I wasn’t sure. But I would have ample time to try out any method I could conceive of, for I was stuck in traffic roughly half a mile long leading up to Brasstown Bald, Georgia’s highest point. (I guess that would mean I was also stuck in Georgia’s highest traffic jam, for whatever that’s worth).
J. Parker Nature Stories 